REDEFINING RELATIONSHIP

In a world where heartbreak, betrayal, youth disillusionment, family disintegration and divorce is on a daily increase, it is necessary to return back to the standard and redefine basic relationship concepts.

Standard will always remain the same no matter the technological advancements in the world. Even when popular celebrities try to redefine relationship by laying out the wrong example, we must always remember that truth cannot be modified or modernized.

These basic relationship concept will help us to redefine our relationship, and if we adhere to them, would usher is into a season of healthy and successful relationship. If we break any stage, it affects our relationship.

So, what are these relationship concepts? They include:


1. FRIENDSHIP

Friendship is a type of relationship between two people who care about each other. Friends are an important part of most people's lives. Research has recently shown that having friends increases our chances of being happy. A good friend might be someone who provides support when times are tough, or someone you can rely on to celebrate a special moment with you.

In friendship, it's important you hang around people who celebrate you, not people who tolerate you.

The best thing about friendship is communication.

If we do not build friends, we'd have a hard time choosing a life partner. You cannot marry all of your friends, but there will definitely be someone you can marry among your friends.

Please, begin every relationship with friendship.


2. DATING

According to Wikipedia, "Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially, possibly as friends or with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a prospective partner in a more committed intimate relationship or marriage."

Dating is a time when a Christian finds out if his or her potential marriage partner is also a believer in Christ. It is that early stage of a relationship where both the man and the woman go out on dates to find out what each other is like, their principles and value system, as a prelude to actually being a fully fledged couple.

In this stage, the Man and the woman meet outside, socially. Contrary to popular belief, It is not the time to invite them over to your house for a cup of coffee  or a glass of wine. Emotional attachment (or sex) must not be involved. Dating should be kept formal.

When you date, all you are basically doing is looking for someone that fits your ideal type of man or woman; you look for personality traits that you value. It is not supposed to be long at all. I usually advice people not to spend more than a month or two in dating.


3. COURTSHIP

Courtship is a relationship between a man and a woman in which they seek to determine if it is God’s will for them to marry each other. While courting, you check to see if the other person is compatible with you spiritually, emotionally and in every other way.

Under the protection, guidance, and blessing of parents or mentors, the couple concentrates on developing a deep friendship that could lead to marriage, as they discern their readiness for marriage and God’s timing for their marriage. (See Proverbs 3:5–7.)

Courtship is a choice to avoid temptation and experience the blessings of purity. It is a choice to not emotionally give away your heart, piece by piece, to many others through casual dating relationships and instead to give your whole heart to your life partner.

What you do in the season of courtship is communication and discovery of each other's purpose and life assignments. It is a time when the man and woman get to determine if they are both compatible.

There is no commitment in courtship, hence the woman should not assume anything if the man hasn't said anything yet. Also, there is no ownership in courtship, so it's important you don't assume any responsibility.

As long as no proposal is made and no reply given, courtship is still on. But then, courtship should generally not drag beyond two years. If they need more than two years to understand you, then their motives needs to be questioned. Don't allow any man or woman waste your time.


4. PROPOSAL

A marriage proposal is an event where one person in a relationship (having courted for some time) asks for the other's hand in marriage. It is the will to marry someone.

If accepted, a proposal marks the initiation of engagement.

Acceptance of the proposal is not compulsory. Hence, a man should not feel bad when a lady refuses his proposal. At least, maintain the friendship. That's maturity.


5. ENGAGEMENT

An engagement is a promise to wed, and also the period of time between a marriage proposal and a marriage.

During this period, a couple is said to be betrothed, intended, affianced, engaged to be married, or simply engaged.

An engagement is also a binding commitment or mutual promise of later marriage, having parental and pastoral approval. There is no secret engagement; there has to be the consent of the authorities over the two people involved.

An engagement often has a ritual quality.


6. MARRIAGE

It is a legal binding of a man and woman in a lifetime of covenant relationship.

Primary, marriage is for God's benefit- to seek godly offspring. (see Malachi 2:15). This is the only stage of relationship where romance and sex is allowed.

Physical intimacy comes last in a relationship. That is the standard, that's the way it's meant to be. Don't allow the world mislead you. Genuine bonding stops when you introduce physical intimacy.

I hope you were blessed? Please leave your comments below.  Let me know what you think.

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