BEHIND THE COSMETICS

I managed to drop a slice of fish into the boiling oil. The gas was quite high. I could not see clearly, my right eye was swollen and so the left eye had to do the job; but the poor thing had been working all day. Now it feels sore and itchy as i wiped the small tear that strolled from it. I shook my head many times, but it did not help the matter. I just had to manage. All I had to do with my self was manage, so managing my life was no exception. I am the envy of all. Many ladies pray to have what I have. But they never knew what I was going through. Though he had money and luxury, and so I felt that would comfort me, but I spent the whole money and little time that I had on cosmetics. I used the most expensive ones, but they were never enough. I tried hard to cover the bruises and shame. But, it never covered the pain. I never wanted to live like this. I felt confused. I continued in the hot and quiet kitchen pondering about life, but forgot I had something on fire.

I was already lost in thought but just then, was revived by the smoke coming out of the fish. I tried putting off the gas. But the control was too hot. It burnt my palm: I took it back immediately. The boiling oil was splashing here and there. There was nothing I could do to stop that. As I tried again to put off the gas, power supply went out, as is the custom in this part of the world. Oh, I cried: not now PHCN, wrong timing. The kitchen became dark, but the smoke continued fiercely. It made me confused. I didn’t know what to do. My phone had a flat battery. I couldn’t even see my way out. Whenever i managed to get close to the boiling oil, the splashes will take me back. The smoke was already suffocating me. I could hardly breathe. I started coughing continuously. But I had to put the fire out.

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I stretched my hand towards the gas control, and managed to put my face aside. But the hot oil splashed on my hand. As I was about taking my hand away, I acccidentally hit the handle of the frying pan and all hell broke loose: the whole hot steamed oil poured all over my legs. I screamed out loud.. It hurt me so much. I cried and shouted, but there was none to console me. I kept rolling on the floor as part of the spilled oil on the floor continued burning me. It was like hell.

If anybody had never been to hell before, I could tell it isn't an amazing place. My home was hell. It was the most excruciating pain I ever felt. The whole of me felt dead. I couldn't tell which part hurts most: my tampered eye, the burns I just received on my legs or the pains Ken had caused me for the past years. Oh! I cried more!

Just when the struggle to get up was not enough, I heard the car horn. Ken was back. It should have felt comforting, right? But no, i knew today was the last day, so I should just say my prayers. He rushed into the kitchen with his flashlight, managed to put off the gas and then opened the blinds and windows. He's going to have a bit of compassion, I hought, but no, i was wrong. He looked at me sternly and just when I was about telling him how it all happened, Ken landed me a blow on my fore- head. I screamed! He gave me another one and told me to keep quiet, but I could not. I couldn’t bare the pains any longer. It was just too much. He got angrier and  kicked me on my stomach. Oh, it hurts so bad. For a minute I prayed for death. I told God I was ready. I told him to just take my life. But God wouldn’t just answer, as Ken continued with blows and slaps. I got up to try to escape. But he caught me: the mean man was clearly stronger than I am. He dragged me by my hair out of the kitchen through the stairs to the veranda. There he gave me another round of beating. Ken was no man, He was a monster. That day I saw a higher dimension of the beast in him. I cried but none could help.

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Just when I was waiting for death to come by. Something else awoke me. In the midst of his blows and curses. I felt something warm and moist streaming down from between my legs. As I took a glance at it. I Saw blood! Oh my God! This can't be happening: I had just lost my three weeks pregnancy. Reality had finally dawned on me. I stopped for a second to think. “Where have I lost it?” I thought, “ what happened to my self esteem and sense of belonging?” I said quietly. I refuse to die like this! Something strong grew out of me. I no longer wanted this life. For the past five years I  have been a shadow of myself. I had lost my dignity. But this night, I had to take it back!

Just when Ken raised his hand to throw another blow, I pushed him down with all the strength I had left and snatched the keys to the gate. I ran faster than my legs could take me. I saw him struggle to get up. But before he could, I was out of the gate. I was leaving all of the pains and rejection he had cause me. I was no longer interested in using cosmetics to cover my bruises. I had to start my life afresh.

I will not stop running until I get to my destination. I am a woman not a punching bag. I am strong not a weakling. I am beauty personified. I am going to start my life afreash.

No man can prove love with abuse. Don't remain in an abusive relationship because of what you fear people might say or think. Don't remain in an abusive relationship because you still feel something for your partner. Love and abuse don't go together. Don't remain quiet in an abusive relationship with the hope that they will change later. Speak out!

No to physical abuse
No to molestation
No to sexism


DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. Events and incidents are products of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.


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